Unwelcome Isolation by Mahshid Mahboubifar

My self-portraits results from an unwelcome isolation. Last summer, during a couple of months I spent most of my time in my own room, I had lost many of my friends because of moving back to my city after graduation in the field of art. The only medium which could connect me to my friends and the artistic atmosphere which I had lost was my cell phone. At first I took pictures of everything with my phone. As I was alone at home most of the time, I took self-portraits more than the other things. I put all my photos on Instagram and after a while, my self-portraits were acclaimed by my friends and featured by some pages on Instagram, which caused my focus on self-portraiture.

©Mahshid Mahboubifar

©Mahshid Mahboubifar

©Mahshid Mahboubifar

Using the phone camera was the simplest choice for my first self-portraits. It is the easiest and fastest way, but not the best way. I believe that using a phone camera was a mistake in many of my self-portraits. It is a good choice for documentary and street photography and also for street self-portraits, but it’s not suitable for staged photography unless the photographer has a logical reason, which I didn’t have. Now I use my phone camera only for a test, and take the original shot by my camera.

©Mahshid Mahboubifar

©Mahshid Mahboubifar

©Mahshid Mahboubifar

©Mahshid Mahboubifar

For a period of time I was so involved with self-portraiture, and I wanted to know why I couldn’t take photos of the other people, or work with a model. I’m still not sure about it, but it made me to think and know myself better than before. I was always shy and withdrawn. Since in the self-portraiture the photographer is the one who decides, poses, and presses the shutter, it could be the ideal way for a person like me.

©Mahshid Mahboubifar

©Mahshid Mahboubifar

©Mahshid Mahboubifar

©Mahshid Mahboubifar

After a while self-portraiture went beyond in my mind. My photographs changed from playing with rays of light to a try to identify myself. I am looking everywhere and in everything for myself. Not only as a picture, but also as a person, who is affected and has an effect on her surroundings. I’m trying to be aware of what is happening around me, and also in me.

©Mahshid Mahboubifar

©Mahshid Mahboubifar

I have to experience and learn a lot, in order to achieve the self- knowledge, because I’m a beginner and I think what I had done, is the first step of a long way.

 

Follow Mahshid on Instagram to see her latest self-portraits @mahshee

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